Sometimes, it’s nice to be treated like a kid again — it’s hard to complain about someone cooking you delicious meals or sending you home with cookies. But, if your in-laws are making big decisions for you, writing off your thoughts as naive, or anything just short of offering to cut your steak into tiny, bite-sized pieces, the infantilizing has gone to a whole new level.

How to Deal: Draw the line. Let your in-laws know that you appreciate their help, but that you can handle that yourself. Discuss it with your partner, too. Perhaps there are cultural expectations that differ from your own upbringing that they can explain to you. “The most important thing to do is for the couple to speak about their feelings and expectations,” Shirey says. “If both partners are in agreement that in-laws are overstepping or overbearing … then they must decide as a couple what makes the most sense in addressing this with the family.” After a few instances of standing up for yourself, they should start to back off a bit.